Monday, December 12, 2016

Mommy Diaries - 6 (Of Death and after ) !!

Death can have a really profound impact on you , always. I don't know why this has been happening to me , but I have been reading too many books these days where somebody is terminally ill or dies. Durjoy Dutta , my goodness you have a really impactful way of churning things out. I am sure you saw death very closely.

Anyways , coming back to the main thing , I have been discussing about death recently with my little one. Over the weekend , there was an unfortunate sudden demise of a very young person whom we knew ( not very very closely but yes , we knew her and my daughter met that person once ). While the husband was away tending to it and helping people in the situation , we knew a common friend who was very close to that person. And that common friend is a very good friend of my daughter.

I wasn't planning on having this conversation with Mahati but eventually I had to. I wanted to be honest with her on what was happening and the stress daddy and her common friend have been going through.

I told her , "Chinnu , do you remember the other friend who played with you ? you remember that person was very close to your common friend ? "
She said "Yes mamma , I remember her".
I said , "That person died chinnu , there was an accident and she died and that's why daddy has been out the whole day trying to help the people and that's why your common friend , who will come to our house in an hour is going to be very sad. So , I want you to understand that and not disturb that person , okay chinnu.".
She said , "Okay mamma , really did that person die , ohhhh" and then the voice trailed off.

I didn't understand what went on in her mind but it was a discussion for later. I was happy that I was actually treating Mahati as a whole responsible person , respected her and told her the truth in possibly the most simple way. She has the right to know.

Later , during bed , we talked a lot. About death!!
She asked , "Mamma , what happens to people when they die? ".
I told her , "They go to God Chinnu and they don't wake up anymore."
She asked , "Mamma , do people who die go to poo and pee ?".
I told her , "No Chinnu , they don't. They don't move anymore and they don't wake up."
She said , "Ohh!! okay. What will happen to that person in the night mamma , like tonight ? now ?".
I said , "Nothing Chinnu , that person is with God now and remember , they don't wake up anymore."
She asked , "Will God make her again ? During Day and Night ?".
I said , "Yes Chinnu , God will make her again in some other form."
She said , "Caithlin is my best friend mamma. So when I die , she is going to be very sad".
I said , "Yes Chinnu. All your loved ones will be sad. Just like how our common friend is sad".

With that trails off our conversation. I am still not sure if Mahati fully understands. But we are getting there. I really believe that children should know what death means very early in life , so that they can appreciate life better.

Chinnu , if you are reading this years later , I would like to know your thoughts ra pandu....